Bridge the Gap

*Courtesy of Aish.com

Sometimes we tend to ostracize the people closest to us, because of simple differences. We neglect the reality of the situation: we have more in common than we think...Thousands of years together and a shared goal.

The next time that you see one of your brethren on the street. Say hello or smile.

Bridge the gap

The Greater Picture

It happens that sometimes we look at some of our friends who have been more successful than we have and we wonder, "how is it possible that they have attained so much, while I have attained so little?"

Rabbeinu Bachayei says in Chovevos HaLevavos that at this point one should introspect and come to the realization that just as I wish to serve the Ribbono Shel Olam so does my dear friend.

When it comes to situations like these we should realize that as we suffer though trials and tribulations, we are part of a greater nation that G-d loves.

The 10th of Teves - Lets Party!

Once again the 10^th of Teves is upon us and in our cyclical calendar we fast while experiencing the pain and anguish of a lost Temple.

In today’s day and age we have become desensitized to the loss of the Beis Hamikdash. For most, we cannot even minutely imagine a life with the Temple built in its full glory. We can’t picture the hordes of people coming from around the world to bring sacrifices to G-d three times a year.

Nevertheless, the (Gemara Sukka 51b) says, “Anyone who has not seen the Simchas Beis HaShoeva in his days has never seen happiness in his life.” The Gemara then continues to say, “Anyone who did not see the Beis Hamikdash while it was built has never seen an attractive building”.

While learning this Gemara, I was perplexed as to why the Gemara in Sukka juxtaposes these two statements next to each other. Granted the Simchas Beis Hashoeva was a happy occasion…and granted that as an architectural structure the Beis Hamikdash was a masterpiece, but what do they have to do with one another? I would assume that the reason why the event was filled with happiness had nothing to do with the beauty of the building that housed it.

It is written in Pirkei Avos that if “two people sit and proactively learn Torah together then the Shichina dwells among them”. This learning is not restricted to the learning of the texts themself but it is also when the Torah is being practiced. We are taught “Viahavta Lireacha Kamocha” “You shall love you friend like yourself”. Only when we love our friends like ourselves can the Shichina dwell amongst us.

The Gemara (Yoma 9b) says that the Beis Hamikdash was destroyed because of Sinas Chinam, baseless hatred. The Jewish people are one and we all share a common goal. Every person is worthy of respect regardless of their beliefs or level of observance. There is something to be learned from everyone.

I would like to suggest that the reason why the Beis Hamikdash was so beautiful was because of the Simchas Beis HaShoeva, this is why they are juxtaposed to one another in the Gemara Sukka. When Klal Yisrael was respectful to one another and treated each other with the utmost admiration, (like during the Simchas Beis Hashoeva) then there was no building that was more aesthetically and internally beautiful than the Beis Hamikdash. When they didn’t however, then the Shichina could no longer dwell amongst them.

The only way to fix our problem is to realize that we have a problem. The key to true happiness is in the way that we treat others. The only way for the Beis Hamikdash to exist is if we have “happy” events.

HAVE AN EASY AND MEANINGFUL FAST!

Live it up! Have Fun!

I Missed You

In this weeks Parsha we see the reuniting of Yosef and Yaakov after 22 years of separation.

The pasuk says, (46:29,30) “Yosef harnessed his chariot and went up to meet Israel his father, to Goshen; and he appeared to him, fell on his neck, and he wept on his neck excessively. Then Israel said to Yosef, I can die this time, after my having seen your face, because you are still alive.”

In Meseches Brachos( 58: ), as well as in the Tur Shulchan Aruch Siman 225 it says that if someone sees his friend after not seeing him for 30 days he should say a Shehechiyanu. If he hasn’t seen him for 12 months then he should say a “baruch michayei mesiim” because he is elated to see him after not seeing him for such a long time. All of these brachos should be said with shem and malchus as well.

If a person receives a letter from a friend who he has not seen for over a month, there are those Achronim who hold that a Shehechiyanu is required. The Mishna Brura paskins that safek brachos lihakel. By michayei meisim however, everyone agrees that a baruch michayei meisim is not said, if he had heard from him within the year.

The reason for this is written in the sefer chiddushei agados which says that the entire reason for why the bracha of michayei meisim is said is because every year people are judged between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur to see whether or not they will live or die. Therefore if one does not see someone from one Y”K to the next then a aruch michayei meisim is definitely in order but if one hears from him then it is not in order because the din is understandable.( According to this if someone does not see his friend for even 10 days from before R”H to after Y”K of the same year he would have to say a baruch michayei meisim)

This din does not differ whether it is for a man or a woman. If one is elated to see his/her friend then a bracha is in order. A man however only makes this bracha on his wife, mother, sister, and daughter. If this is true then for a woman then it would follow a similar scale; husband, father, brother and son.

The Mishna Brura says that if someone goes over 12 months without seeing a friend then a “baruch michayei meisim is said and not a shehechiyanu”. If one sees a “Chacham mei chachei Yisroel” then one should say on him, “asher chalak mikivodo lireiav” in addition to a michayei meisim and a shehechiyanu if you hadn’t seen him within 30 days.

If someone had never seen his friend and their relationship is entirely dependent upon being a “penpal”. After seeing them for the first time a bracha is NOT said. This because your relationship is not dependant on a personal relationship. Only once they become accustomed with each other’s physical appearance only then is a bracha said.

The Pri Megadim says that if a someones wife gives birth while he is in midinas hayam then after seeing the child for the first time a shehechiyanu / baruch michayei hameisim is said because you are immediately elated to see your own child.

The Ben Ish Chai says that a person should never say one of these brachos with shem hashem or malchus and the Kaf HaChaim says, that if one is in such a town where they are not noheg to say this bracha then they should say shehechiyanu without shem hashem and malchus and should say “baruch michayei meisim in his heart. This same thing applies with a new kid who is born to a man in a place where they are not noheg to say the bracha. He should eat a new fruit and have the baby in mind when eating the fruit.

R’ Ephraim Greenblatt says in his sefer, “Rivivos Ephraim”, that never in his life had he ever seen anyone say these brachos on seeing a person a new after not seeing each other for a while. He suggests that the reason for this is because people do not know how happy they have to be to see a person in order to say these brachos!